Pretty much every time we take a brief, we’re told “we don’t want someone with an ego”.
Sometimes, an ego is acceptable, as long as the person doesn’t have a big one. Because, without exception, “big egos don’t work around here”. Or, at the very least, we like people who are “low ego”.
Of course, if you understand Freud’s theory of Ego, you’ll know it’s actually impossible to be alive without one. In fact, the Latin word ‘ego’ literally means ‘I/myself’.
So let’s explore what we might actually mean when we talk about ego in respect to leadership hiring.
Basically, what we’re saying is that we have a preference for someone who doesn’t prioritise their own needs above the needs of others – usually to the detriment of customers and/or colleagues. We probably mean that we want someone who is able to moderate their thoughts before they act, i.e., they don’t lose their shit when something doesn’t go their way. We also likely mean we want someone who doesn’t feel the need to be right all the time, nor be the originator of every idea, nor feels the need to make everything about them.
Put simply, references to low/no ego are usually a polite way of saying “we prefer to work with people who play nicely with others.”
The misuse of the term ego is one example of why it is crucial to be careful, and specific, with the language we use when defining recruitment briefs. Furthermore, it is essential to get stakeholders to bring to life what they actually mean when they use personality descriptors. For example, one person’s view on being ‘decisive’ could be seen as being ‘devoid of empathy’ by another. One person’s take on ‘detail oriented’ might be ‘anally retentive’ for someone else.
For those of you who are interested, Freud tells us our ego is the referee between our wild desires and the rules of society. It ultimately helps us play nice and keep it real. Our internal moderator or meditator, if you will. Therefore, a well-adjusted ego can be a source of strength and a force for positive impact, enabling leaders to inspire their teams and operate with confidence and humility.
Of course, we’ll see what true no-ego leadership looks like when AI inevitably takes all our jobs!
